The Boyfriend Contract

Crikey! I'll think twice if I have to sign a Male-Female Fiduciary Relationship Agreement such as the following, everytime I get into a relationship. It's scary! From thisisby.us:

II. Duties

The Boyfriend is expected to, using all reasonable capabilities and faculties, at any cost to oneself, provide consistent and satisfactory pleasure to the Principle at any time such pleasure is demanded, of any nature such pleasure is demanded.

The undersigned stipulates that under no circumstances may he refuse to provide such pleasure. Should the Boyfriend choose to violate this stipulation, it is to be deemed a full and automatic surrender of any current and future compensation to be provided for said services, whereupon the execution of such termination will be deferred to the Principle.

The undersigned agrees that the Principle does not need to disclose what pleasure she is expecting from the Boyfriend. It will be mutually understood that the Boyfriend must be able to read the mind of the Principle, and therefrom infer what pleasure she is seeking, and upon discovery, provide said pleasureable activity immediately to its fullest force and effect. Failure to abide by this stipulation my invoke immediate cancellation of this agreement pursuant Article II, paragraph 2 of this agreement.

(Thanks cece)