Monday, May 15, 2006

How to show you are a physicist

Here are 20 ways to show you are a physicist even when you are not. Great for those who love play acting. From the site:
# Never answer your mail. 99 per cent of those who write to you are in an inferior position. Why else would they write? However, requests for reprints of your articles should be answered immediately to ensure rapid propagation of your brilliance.
# When reviewing a book be certain to find at least four errors in judgement or fact. Remember, as a book reviewer your superior position has already been acknowledged - it is your task to justify that trust.
# Never address an audience without a piece of chalk in hand. The listener's eyes are glued to this weapon waiting for it to strike.
# Never give a talk without a mathematical derivation.
# If anyone in your audience is not taking notes, glare at him unmercifully. the gems of your oral utterances deserve to be recorded for posterity.
# Learn the music of at least half a dozen early composers, preferably all before Bach.

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