Monday, January 30, 2006

How to cast voodoo doll spells

The wacky folks at Weekly World News reported a story on how to make your own voodoo doll and cast spells that will make your troubles go away. If you ever wanted to lower your utility bills to almost nothing or make your children behave like angels, then you should check the article out. From Weekly World News:
LOWER UTILITY BILLS TO ALMOST NOTHING
"This spell is a versatile one, which can cover phone bills, electric, water, sanitation or any other bill you would like lowered," said Mandela.
INGREDIENTS: Voodoo doll wrapped in any utility bill (use tape), whole chicken, 5 yards black yarn, 10 dead flies, 1 cup oatmeal (instant, not slow cook), white candles, Crest toothpaste (Colgate may be substituted).
Step 1: Debone chicken and cut flesh into pieces with razor blade. Place in ceramic (nonmetal) mixing bowl.
Step 2: Clean bones and let dry.
Step 3: Mix remaining ingredients (except candles) with chicken parts. Beat at high speed for 5 minutes.
Step 4: Coat candles with paste. Set into holders fashioned out of bones. For each bothersome bill, light one candle and repeat the following incantation: "Thou art a vile money grubber who overcharges and takes away my hardearned cash that could be spent on better things. I deserve more. I should not be held hostage to you anymore." The next time your statement arrives, it should be substantially lower.
But I have to warn you. No guarantees they will work. Ha!

(Thanks Lord Kimbo)

3 comments:

Mr Big said...

Just what I need. My bills have been sky rocketing recently.

Bengster said...

voodoo sia! mr big go try leh n if work tell us.

Lord Kimbo said...

The article teaches you how to cast the spell but did not show how to make a voodoo doll.

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