Durham Uni's 'DIY In Showers' Notice

The folks at Durham University Estates & Buildings are fed up with students clogging up the showers so they tell students to stop masturbating! Photo of hilarious notice here. Content of the notice as follows:

Durham University Estates & Buildings

RE: Masturbation in Showers

We have recently found several blockages in showers in university owned accomodation, most commonly caused by human hair.

However, over the last term we found many of these blockages to be caused by large quantities of what we have now determined to be semen. This is intolerable, and we shall be tracing the culprits by means of DNA matching if the problem persists.

May we advise students who wish to masturbate to do so in the comfort of their own rooms, rather than the showers.

Thank you for taking the time to read this document.

P Robinson
Director,
Estates and Buildings